Confessions of a Mall Santa

Chubby children aside, there’s a lot of weight on the lap of a
shopping mall Santa.

Encased in fur and velvet, cinched into gut-crushing belts and
boots that don’t breathe, these rock stars of the holiday stage not
only have to hawk overpriced 8x10s. They bear the burden of keeping
the season’s magic alive for hundreds of increasingly incredulous
youngsters. One tug on that gleaming white wig could be all it
takes to convince them that holiday wishes are for patsies. One
harsh word aimed at an incompetent elf could Dasher their hopes
forever. Blitzen them, even.