Season’s Bleatings

Dearest Friends and Family,

We hope this holiday letter finds you merry, gay, and all the
other pleasant emotions the season demands of you. Whew! What a
whirlwind year it’s been for us. The baby is quite active these
days. He likes to bang his head on things and spin around until he
falls down. We assume this is because he’s so smart, and he’s
trying to slow his poor little brilliant mind down to a more
comfortable level.

He has lots of new words and calls Pa and Junior by name,
although he won’t say “Mama.” He speaks of trucks, socks, even
trash, but no “Mama.” Never “Mama,” not once. Kids are funny,
aren’t they? Pa coached Junior’s soccer team, and though they lost
nearly every game, those boys really soaked up the great lessons
that crushing defeat has to offer — including some valuable
first-aid training. I found that providing really sugary snacks
after the game helps them forget their humiliation so much faster.
And Pa was amazing, the way he defused those awkward halftime
situations when other children’s fathers used inappropriate
language while threatening to beat him up on the field.