Trim Your Dog
FICUS FRACAS OR HOW LOWE CAN YOU GO? Recent events call to mind the ancient philosophical riddle: If a hedge is clipped in the wilds of Montecito without its celebrity owner’s consent and the News-Press isn’t there to report it, did it really happen? I can assure you I was not there last summer when, under the mistaken understanding that he had permission, Jim Neuman trespassed onto the property of actor Rob Lowe, his Padaro Lane neighbor, to trim the hedge that blocked Neuman’s million-dollar coastal view.

Starshine gets to the bottom of what makes all those mall Santas tick. She finds that there are three types of Santa, and delivers the goods on each.