Love the One You’re With — Clutter and All

Let’s celebrate the month of love by sharing some thoughts on how our physical space can hinder our emotional space. One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is the clutter and “stuff” that can come between a marriage or partnership.

This might make you chuckle, but all too often, I have seen the little stuff turn into the big divide. Early in my career, I got many calls from people asking if I could come and get their partner more organized. To their disappointment, my answer was always “no.” I would tell them, “Getting organized is like getting in shape: They have to want it, and you can’t want it for them. If they don’t have the desire, then the changes don’t stick, and the habits aren’t genuine, so inevitably there will be even more disorganization — and disappointment — down the road.”

When people get together in a relationship, they each bring their lifetime of stuff — both emotional and physical — with them. Then they start to collect stuff together. We collect and accumulate for many varied reasons, but at the end of the day, it often impedes on the other person’s space.