In Defense of Doing Nothing

DAY LATE AND DOLLAR SHORT: I celebrated Monday morning by driving my car over a large and looming traffic-calming device lurking in plain on sight on Micheltorena Street, named after a former governor famous for not being able to ride his horse into a battle due to a debilitating case of hemorrhoids. Whatever memo the device — an elevated oblong island — was designed to send, I clearly did not receive it until the belly of my car found itself violently raked, scraped, and otherwise assaulted by its concrete protuberances. I experienced no calming effect in the moment, and even less when I saw the repair bill.

Some things just can’t be taught; stupid is one of them.

The moral of this story is I should have been riding my bike. This was God’s way of punishing me for getting in a car. In my defense, I can only say I had my reasons. I mention this by way of full disclosure so you can take what comes next with the requisite grain of salt.