Mutually Assured Destruction in Santa Barbara’s Cannabis Wars

When it comes to the cannabis war now escalating throughout Santa Barbara County, I got no dog in the fight. Too often, however ​— ​and increasingly ​— ​it feels decidedly otherwise. I have friends on both sides of the divide, people with whom I have long broken bread. Some are now threatening to never speak to me again. From other participants, I have received not-so-subtle intimations of great bodily harm. One managed to get me looking over my shoulder. As for all the rest, I only had to duck their flying spit. 

Weed is famous for inducing fits of silly giggles among those who partake. But the first casualty in this escalating war of words is a sense of humor. Both sides have assembled their armies of attorneys, lobbyists, spin doctors, and backroom campaign donors. But before we go down that Game of Thrones rabbit hole, let’s ponder a new endgame wrinkle that I stole from Dr. Strangelove and the good old days of the Cold War. It’s called mutually assured destruction ​— ​MAD for short. 

The United States and the former Evil Empire known as “the USSR” managed to coexist for the better part of 40 years because each side knew the other had a button they could push to make the skies rain bombs and the oceans boil. The great irony is that in my MAD man logic, hemp ​— ​cannabis’s low-THC, near-beer, low-rent, genetic kissing cousin ​— ​will function as the analog to The Bomb.