The author and his charmin

Thanks to a brave wife who’s used to hitting various markets — mostly Trader Joe’s and the Isla Vista Food Co-op — multiple times a week, I’d been able to put off any trips to the grocery store since this whole COVID-19 pandemic stay-at-home party kicked off. I’ve laughed at the toilet-paper hoarders and bottled-water worriers from afar, but I was yet to experience the empty aisles of panic-buying with my own two eyes.

That changed on Thursday. 

Faced with no more eggs; yes, a slightly dwindling TP supply; and FOMO-powered curiosity about what this crisis really looks like, I headed out to my regular haunt, the Albertson’s on Calle Real in Goleta at about 2 p.m. It seemed like a good time — past the morning rush, before the after-work rush, and in advance of inside intel that more county COVID cases are likely to be confirmed soon. (They were, and then came the statewide shelter-in-place order that Gov. Gavin Newsom decreed on Thursday night.)

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