The Poodle Snarls: Did Dormzilla Hoist Henry Yang by His Own Petard?

OH, HENRY:  It was while careening drunkenly down the mean streets of Goleta back in the ’70s that Henry Ford II — otherwise known as “Deuce” — was pulled over by the CHP and booked into the county jail. While there, the not-so-young-anymore heir to his family’s Ford auto empire spent a couple of hours behind bars, presumably to reflect on the error of his ways. 

By that time, Ford had given America the Mustang, once a great car but now a caricature of its former self, though no more so than the Viagra head cases who insist on modifying their mufflers presumably to drown out the din of airplanes flying in and out of Santa Barbara’s airport. It was during this incident that Ford — who regularly told himself, “The king can do no wrong” while staring into the mirror — came up with the ultimate quote embraced by wannabe bad boys everywhere. “Never complain,” the Deuce reportedly said. “Never explain.” 

The quote’s real inspiration, it turns out, was the presence of a much-younger woman, a former fashion model, in the car with Ford when the Deuce got his deuce. Ford was practicing what he’d say to his wife at the time, though — it turned out — she wouldn’t be for much longer.