Yule’s Jewels

We all know diamonds are the world’s hardest natural substance,
but the jewelry industry doesn’t seem to believe it. Judging by the
sappy ads popping up on Monday night football, in men’s magazines,
and on billboards along Highway 101, diamond peddlers seem
convinced there’s nothing more dense and impenetrable than a man’s
skull.

“White horse and shining armor sold separately,” the slogans
read. “Carve the turkey any way you damn well please” and “She
hasn’t kissed you like that since, well, has she ever kissed you
like that?” The ads assure guys that if they surprise their
sweetheart with a crystalline rock, she’ll express her gratitude in
promising ways: She’ll stop nagging him, start wearing more
lingerie, and forgive him for saying that thing about her
thighs.

Are women really that easy? It’s true: Women take a shine to
diamonds, and our fondness is as multifaceted as the stones
themselves. “Diamonds are the clearest, purest, most sublime
creations on this earth — something raw made into something
beautiful,” insisted a friend who fell in love with the gems as a
girl, when she was eye-level with her granny’s diamond ring-adorned
hands. “It seemed the epitome of ‘grown up,’ and all that is
womanly.”